Why I Hate the Word “You”
Jamaicans speak English, but our preferred language is Jamaican Creole also known as Jamaican Patois. Jamaican Creole is close to English, but it is more like a form of broken English. It is a shorter and more direct way to communicate. For example: “Yuh gud?” which means, “Are you good”. “Yuh” means “you” No one would say “Yuh are gud?” because it sounds like someone that doesn’t know how to speak English properly. Majority of Jamaicans speak Jamaican Creole as their preferred language, and only a few teachers and high-class people maintain a level of speaking English. I spoke a lot of Creole mainly because of the majority of the people I was around preferred to speak it. I spoke it so much and for many years to the point that I couldn’t speak English fluently anymore. I knew I had to start practicing English once I received my acceptance letter from USC Salkehatchie.
When I arrived at USC Salkehatchie, I had to learn to speak slower so that people would understand me. This tactic worked very well, and there were only a few words I couldn’t say appropriately because of my accent. When I took English 101 with Dr. David Hatch, he pointed out that I used the word “you” abundantly in my papers. When he lectured me about it not only did he want me to reduce them but to get to the point where I removed them altogether. This was very challenging for me because it was the way I was taught to speak from an infant. Dr. David Hatch explained why he did not want us to use the word “you” in our papers. The first thing he said was that “it sounds preachy and abrasive.” He did not go too in-depth about this topic, but I could understand what he was saying. He also pointed out every time I used “you” in my assignments and would teach me how to correct it. After several assignments, I started to write without using “you”.
In 2018, I took Negotiation and Conflict in the Workplace with Dr. David Hunter. This professor went a little deeper with the word “you”. He did not like this word at all. He gave us examples of how it can offend a reader. One popular example was: “Society sees the disabled as people with difficulties. You tend to avoid handicapped people, and you think they are suffering.” He would correct this statement, so it was less offensive to the reader. “Society sometimes sees the disabled as people with difficulties. Some citizens tend to avoid handicapped people and think they are suffering.” He would explain that the reader might not view disables as the statement describes and it that case it would be offensive to the reader. Dr. David Hunter said, “the word ‘you’ can be unintentionally disrespectful.”
Dr. Hunter would give us assignments that required us to talk to someone using the word “you” and see how that person reacts. He also stated it works best when it is a heated conversation. I tried this many time, and I saw where it was impacting the other person negatively. At this point, I realized this theory had some truth to it. Some phrases I would commonly say are: “You are not making sense” or “You can’t write!” or “You damage the phone screen”. These statements were the truth, but these statements never helped the situation. After taking Dr. Hunter’s and Dr. Hatch’s classes, I realized the way I was accustomed to speaking was affecting those around me. I now can revise these statements and make them less offensive and possibly speaking the truth in a better way. I revised these statements like this, “I am having trouble understanding what I heard” or “I don’t understand this writing” or “I don't think they are making phones as good as before”. By using these phrases instead, it will divert the conversation to a more positive result. Making myself the subject shares the responsibility which makes the other person less likely to feel bad or think to react negatively.
A recent example of this was one with my Head Coach. Whenever I would make a mistake, he would say, “You made a mistake again Mario!” This always made me feel sad and worthless. One day I made another mistake, but it was a small one, and he said, “Mario I think this is a mistake.” It didn’t feel so bad when he said it. I was more inclined to fix the problem. These lessons have shown me how a simple word such as “you” can turn a sad face into a smiling face. I also notice that the change of culture plays a major role in this. Being in Jamaica, I would never feel sad or worthless if someone said, “Yuh mek a mistake eno Mario” translating to “You made a mistake again Mario” which was the same words my Head Coach said that made me feel sad and worthless. I now use the information learned from my two courses to understand how some things might have an impact in some cultures while those same things do not have any effect in other cultures. However, based on the negative side of the word “you” I will eliminate using it regardless of which culture I am around. I now know based on this information how to talk to people to get a positive attitude afterward.
I always have these situations at work, where international recruits are constantly emailing everyone from the admissions department. The head of the admissions department told me about the situation and explained that they have no time to be answering emails from international students. Therefore, the Head Coach wrote an email that he would send to all international players if they were emailing members from the admissions department. I read the email, and I did not like how it sounded. I remember sending this email to an international player by the name of Dave, and he decided to withdraw his application. He said he felt offended after reading the email. I decided to revise the email and remove the word "you". The next person I sent this email was Kristoff, and he didn't find the email offensive. He apologized and a couple of months after he was an athlete at USC Salkehatchie. The theory of not using "you" helps to make a situation better.
Now when I speak to anyone, I refrained from using the word “you.”
Artifacts
Below are my artifacts. The first shows when I invited Stevie to our soccer open house, second shows Stevie at the open house, and third, my second speech evaluation from professor Joe Siren.
An assignment for Dr. David Hatch with no "you" | |
File Size: | 8 kb |
File Type: | docx |
My first assignment for Dr. David Hatch with a lot of "you" | |
File Size: | 7 kb |
File Type: | docx |
Email that I sent to Dave | |
File Size: | 127 kb |
File Type: | png |
Revised Email Sent to Kristoff | |
File Size: | 130 kb |
File Type: | png |